Acacia.gay is Manifesting Diversity Through Authenticity

Acacia is an intimacy coordinator, choreographer, writer, filmmaker, educator, inventor, and all around artist. They have explored intersectional topics including gender, sexuality, disability, mental health, and identity through the arts for the past 12 years. They have directed films such as My Queer Questions and My Problem with Trichotillomania. They have also performed and taught neo-burlesque as a tool for self-exploration, and have Intimacy coordinated several films including Perfectly Good Moment, The Robosexual, As The Winter Turns To Fall (winner Best Acting Duo and Best LGBTQ Film at the 2021 Independent Short Awards), and Apophenia.

They have lectured on intimacy for both the stage and screen at multiple colleges and universities including the Feirstein Graduate School of Cinema, Marymount Manhattan College, and Vassar College. Additionally, they have made various guest appearances including The Sex Scene and The Kink Therapist. Acacia believes in creating an inclusive environment through example; leading conversations about intersectionality, accessibility, and accountability at every level of the arts and entertainment world from the classroom, to the conference room, to the set, to the editors room, and beyond.

We had the pleasure of chatting with Acacia this week for our ongoing series focused on the .gay community of Featured Sites!

Watch the video, then read our conversation below!

What's your name, what are your pronouns, and how do you identify?

My name is Acacia (fae/they) and I've gone through a lot of identities that fall under the rainbow including Nonbinary, Trans, Bisexual, Pansexual, Lesbian, Gay, and Genderqueer. But over time I've discovered the most consistent thing about me is my fluidity, so I've found “Queer” to be the most holistic term for me and the one I resonate with most consistently.

Why should people visit your .gay site right now?

One of my core values is accessibility, including access to information. That's why I focus heavily on education on my website acacia.gay. I want to make sure that anyone - be it a seasoned intimacy professional or someone who's never heard of intimacy coordinators - can learn something from my website! I also make it easy to access further information with opportunities to schedule one-on-one conversations with me. I keep it up to date with blog posts on topics related to intimacy, gender, and sexuality on screen as well as other creative projects I've worked on such as films, photoshoots, and more. It's constantly changing and growing so it's always a good time to visit, even if you've checked it out before!

Why is it important to support LGBTQ+ communities online and offline?

I go into this in my new blog post 10 Ways To Support Gender Diversity On Set, but essentially there are huge social, psychological, and financial benefits to supporting LGBTQIA+ communities, particularly in the film industry which beautifully straddles the online and offline worlds. When productions focus on Authentically Inclusive Representation (AIR) they do significantly better at the box office. That's because audiences get to see themselves represented, which positively affects their sense of self. Hiring cast and crew members to bring that representation to life in an authentic way is a critical step in that process.  But for people to show up authentically, they need to feel safe doing so. It's not just giving people a seat at the table, but rather ensuring equitable access for members of the LGBTQIA+ community based on their unique needs.

How has your website changed the way you apply for jobs/get hired/etc. in the film/tv/theater industries? Do you have any advice for queer people who want to work in these industries?

I work in a brand-new industry as an intimacy coordinator for film and television. There are no platforms like LinkedIn or Backstage to help me find jobs. So for me, online presence has been essential to my success. Also, because I work on scenes of intimacy and nudity which are often the target of censorship on social media platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, having my own website allows me to show my work the way it was meant to be seen, without fear. I honestly don't think I could have gotten any of the jobs I have without my website because there would just be no way for filmmakers to find me. And having a .gay domain has made it much easier for my ideal collaborators - LGBTQIA+ filmmakers, actors, and theater-makers - to find me online. 

My advice to queer people who want to work in any industry as a freelancer, creative, or entrepreneur is to publish a website!  A lot of people think it needs to be perfect before they put it out, but that's not what will make an impactful and dynamic site. It's putting in the work over time and watching it grow. Just start out with the basics and add on from there. I've had my website for 5 years now. When I started it was barely more than a homepage with a bit of info about me. It was unfocused, just a dumping place for my creative projects. Now I've honed in on my niche, gotten consistent with my blog, and added tons of pages. And it's paying off because people are actually finding my site! I get traffic every day now and inquiries from people interested in collaborating and learning more. But it took a lot of trial and error and a LOT of time for me to get there. It's because I invested my own time I have a sustainable business site that I can continue to grow and adapt in the future.

What advice would you give to anyone considering if a .gay domain is right for them?

If you consider yourself part of the LGBTQIA+ community, it is! Simple as that. I remember people warning me early on in my career that centering queerness in my professional life would be limiting, but I've found that by being open about who I am, opportunities have come to me that are actually in line with my values and who I am as a person. It has enabled me to work on productions that value me specifically for my queerness and embrace all of my identities as a disabled nonbinary individual. And I find it lifesaving - literally.

How is your website useful when you’re working with actors, directors, producers, etc.?

Having worked with lots of different productions as an intimacy coordinator, I've found the same questions come up over and over for people. My website gives me a blank canvas to paint a roadmap for actors, directors, producers, and other creatives to create safe, sexy, and healthy intimacy on screen. I can answer those frequently asked questions thoroughly and provide resources for further learning. It ultimately saves me a lot of time and effort while making things easier for the people I work with!

What is it like being an out queer person and working behind-the-scenes in the film and television industry?

Sometimes I can feel really invisible working behind-the-scenes as an intimacy coordinator in a male-dominated industry like film and television. As a nonbinary person who was assigned female at birth and loves to dress "femme" strangers don't see me for the genderqueer person I am. Because I am a freelancer in a gig-based industry, that presents a huge problem for me as my coworkers are predominantly strangers! That's why I love having a .gay website so much - because it gives me space to envision and create a future on set where everyone is seen and supported!  I write practical guides as well as theoretical essays on my blog which identify changes to make in the industry based on firsthand knowledge. What's effective about this is that the people who find me online are drawn to those ideals as well. Typically the filmmakers that reach out to me through my website already want to create an emboldening, diverse, creative environment and just need some guidance in making that a reality! Those are the most fulfilling positions for me because everyone has the same goal, and it gives me the support I need to be my most authentic and creative self on set. So basically, my experience can range a lot depending on the production but being out online helps me find the ones that are best for me. And those? They are incredible.

What’s a fun fact about you?

I want to be the first nonbinary person to win Survivor. Here is a link to me describing my consent-based game plan to win Survivor.

Learn more at www.Acacia.gay

Find your .gay domain name at www.Get.gay